Today, the Wizards traded away JaVale McGee and Nick Young. Despite their detrimental attitudes and haphazard efforts, the fan in me will miss their entertaining presence. After shedding a tear or three, I felt inspired to give my best shot at a true Horatian ode, complete with iambic pentameter, to attempt to capture the turmoil plaguing the hearts of Wizards fans worldwide.
Today I stand a man of joy and fear
But what of the hearts of Nick and JaVale?
Once beloved in days of yesteryear
Pierre and Swaggy grew to no avail
Forever young, may they maintain their youth
But for now I must bid to them farewell
Two men with hair and style not to be tamed
‘Fros and faux hawks uncouth!
Miles around DC, ring doth the knell
For promise that alas never became
Nick had a smile that could light up a room
It could erase a Kendrick Perkins frown
Had his judgment mirrored that of Batum
Ernie might not have shipped him out of town
Now Nick goes home to the blue Cali sky
A Trojan from the West with swag to match
The only thing grander was his vert leap,
A combine record-high!
Sadly to his hands the ball was attached
Alas his talents the Wiz could not reap
To Javale, son of Pam, miss you we will
From two baskets to two stats to two names
You no doubt are a man of diverse skill
I wish for you a new feather of fame
Your asthma can survive the mile high suit
And from bonehead may you grow more mature
Grey matter and muscle is all you need
G’luck to this I salute!
Washington raises its glass rest assured
But ‘tis the Red, White, and Blue that we bleed!
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