A Shirtless Andray Blatche of the Wizards disguises himself as Andre Black of the Wizzards

Don’t worry world, it’s not like I’m pulling an Oden or a Favre

As recent AGR posts might indicate, I recently took a mini-vacation to Miami to see the Heat play the Hornets. While the game and LeBron’s ridiculous behind-the-backboard shot were nothing short of incredible, the highlight of the trip was a pit-stop in the the famous Presto Pizza on Miami Beach’s trendy Lincoln Road. In addition to its delicious New York pizza, the restaurant boasts impressive popularity among celebrities. Dozens of photographs of the owners smiling alongside celebrities adorn the restaurant’s walls, not unlike the decor of the famed Ben’s Chili Bowl in Washington, DC. Some are musicians and actors, but most of the celebrities are current or former Miami Heat players /coaches (including Lamar Odom, Udonis Haslem, Shawn Marion, Daequan Cook, John Salley, Pat Riley, Erik Spoelstra, and others), and all of them are well-dressed in the photograph with a notable exception…

Obviously, it came as a surprise to me when I stumbled upon this particular photograph of “Andre Black” of the “Washington Wizzards.” As a Wizards/NBA fanatic, I wasn’t the slightest bit confused–on the contrary, I bordered on hysteria. I mean, Andray Blatche on his own can be considered somewhat of a joke, with his laughable defense and propensity to shoot 22-footers without considering other offensive options for himself or others. But this photo takes Andray Blatche humor to a new stratosphere. Between the misspelling of the grade school-level word “Wizards,” the blatant butchery of Blatche’s name (although, to be fair, both Andre and Black are more common than Andray and Blatche), Dray’s shirtlessness, and his photo-mate (she seems to be a middle-school girl rather than a store owner), this picture is nearly perfect. The only improvement I can imagine is a tattoo across his chest reading G.O.A.T. We can’t see his skin too well so he theoretically may actually have that tat–Dray thinks quite highly of himself so we shouldn’t rule it out. Until we learn more of his tattoos, however, we can debate which is funnier/sadder: this picture and its mutilation of the team’s/player’s name or Blatche’s infamous effort to secure a triple double.

P.S. I should add my true theory as to the origins of this picture: Andray had probably just played some hoops with some youngsters in a charity event. It was super hot outside, because, well, it’s Miami, and he was shirtless. But it’s anybody’s guess, really.

Where do you stand on the debate? And how about that bod…(insert Bruno voice) hot or not? Comment on the article or e-mail us at AGRbasketball (at) gmail (dot) com. Don’t forget to follow @AGRbasketball on Twitter and to like us on Facebook.

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2 Responses to A Shirtless Andray Blatche of the Wizards disguises himself as Andre Black of the Wizzards

  1. slickmilicic says:

    my theory: andre black represents the ‘black swan’ archetype, the embodiment of the intensity and killer instinct, particularly on the defensive end, that andray blatche has never developed. brought in as non-roster camp invitee, he has blatche looking over his shoulder and pops up everywhere andray looks. hanging out with flip after practice, slipping things in andray’s drink to make him oversleep and miss shootaround, and also stopping by every pizza place in road cities. also, u should go see black swan.

  2. Lars Bingchong says:

    That triple double scene is ridiculous. A good triple double would come naturally during the game. Not in that forced way Andray Blatche did in that game.

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