AGR Authentic Jersey of the Week(end): Vince Carter on the Toronto Raptors

Vince would’ve rocked that Dino in a Dunk Contest

After learning that my most recent AJOW post on Mitch Richmond had been done before (albeit differently), I figured I’d give the “writing something original” thing another shot. And it’s tough doing that with such a highly-covered player in Vince Carter. This time around, there are no repeats. That is to say, I am not repeating a post or jersey (or anyone’s sentiments regarding this jersey), no franchise will ever repeat or retro this jersey, and we will never see a repeat of Vince Carter.

This Toronto Raptors gem of a jersey is complete with a purple base, lightning-bolt pinstripes, an ink-injected dino-baller, and uniquely cut number and letter fonts. Even if someone wanted to retro this masterpiece, I don’t know if it is physically possible to channel the artistic and aesthetic prowess that went into designing and producing the Van Gough of NBA jerseys. Sorry, y’all, but there will only ever be one Dino-jersey.

In the same vein, no human will ever replicate the grace, power, creativity, and otherworldliness that Vince Carter possessed above the rim. There is only one “Half-man, Half-amazing.” He took his dunking into the stratospheric realm that the sane cannot conceive: the place of Vinsanity. The dude (if it is even appropriate to call him a human monicker) has proved his “half-amazing” side time and time again. As I recall, humans aren’t supposed to be able to do this:

or these:

or these:

In case you didn’t watch his Top 100 dunks (you should at least fast forward to the top 10), I’ll list the evidence proving that Vinsanity is of a different ilk:
-He can do 360 dunks on a whim. He can do this with one hand or two hands, jump off one foot or two feet, and spin in either direction.
-He can dunk out of a spin-move in a way that humans could only if they were on some planet in outer-space with a weaker gravity pull. Being born from a different planet would explain his ability to resist the physics of planet earth.
-He can do windmill dunks and cock-back dunks with one hand or two hands, from alley-oop passes, and seamlessly in the course of avoiding defenders. To date, no human can say the same.

Unfortunately for our entertainment, aliens age too. Hopefully he’ll summon other extra-terrestrials and woo them with NBA dreams and potential riches. That is, if the NBA ever starts again. For now we’ll have to settle for the amazing, insane memories.

Do you miss “The Dino Era” or Vince’s Airborne Artwork? Comment on the article or e-mail us at AGRbasketball (at) gmail (dot) com. Don’t forget to follow @AGRbasketball on Twitter and to like us on Facebook.

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