On December 17th, 2012, I learned with 99.99% certainty that my coolest and favorite piece of clothing will never again be with me: the Charlotte Hornets Double-hooded Hoodie. It was so goddamn cool I almost wanted to call it “swag,” but I never did because the word “swag” should limited to describing a markedly confident gait. (I’m not a linguistic prescripivist, generally, but I liked the word “swagger” until shitty music and the masses hijacked it. Now it has taken on a meaning that I don’t relate to as much…I’m much more into funky struts than new clothes). But anyway, back to clothes…
What’s so special about this hoodie? For starters, it has important advantages from a comfort and warmth perspective. Its waist-end and sleeve-ends snuggly fit the body in a flamboyant, body/heart-warming effort. The inside is softer than Lamar Odom’s neonatal bald-head. Yes, you just read that.
Its comfort features bleed into its stylistic features. Most notably, it has TWO hoods. Not only is that remarkably badass, but for the hat-averse individual, it is crucial for flexible head temperature regulation.
This hoodie isn’t a one-trick pony, however. Its bright colors show in subtle ways. “Afro-centric beads,” to quote a White friend of mine, rattle as they swing back and forth to let the world know you’re coming. And just like the best of jerseys, it is complete with tackle-twill lettering.
I know it is just a sweatshirt, but I’ll never have another like it. So to you, Charlotte Hornets Double-hooded Hoodie, I say: until next time, if there ever is one. R.I.P.