The Frank Reynolds Trashman Team: 2016-17 Edition

trashman

Head Coach: Frank Reynolds

“Trash rules everything around me / TREAM, always sunny / Squalor, squalor fringe, y’all.” – The anthem the “T.R.E.A.M. Team” AKA the The Frank Reynolds Trashman Team.

There’s a mistaken notion, a naive ideal, that the basketball is pure. That’s just not how it works, though. There are unresolvable ambiguities inherent in the game, such as what’s a flagrant foul, a carrying violation, a moving screen, a legal boxout, or a charge. You get the idea. The thing is, winning teams require players who reject the game’s purity. Who muck it up with their boundary-pushing physicality. Who scour the stands for uneaten popcorn. Who are willing to live in the dumpsters behind the arena. These are the guys that win games, and here at AGR, we’re about treasuring the trash. Without further adieu, here is this year’s Frank Reynolds Trashman Team.

Qualifying rules: A Frank Reynolds Trashman can average no more than 17.0 points per 100 possessions. In addition, to filter out the trashmen who don’t really pick up mush trash, we’ve instituted minimums of 700 minutes, .030 WS/48, -2.0 BPM, and -1.0 RPM. Beyond that, the selections are stats-informed but subjective. The overarching goal is to compose the best team possible while also honoring the best individual trashmen.

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This year’s Trashman team will be constructed in the spirit of contemporary position-less basketball.

Point Guard: Patrick Beverley

Wing: Andre Iguodala

Wing: Trevor Ariza

Frontcourt: Lucas Nogueira

Frontcourt: Draymond Green

Draymond was an obvious choice, as he’s arguably a top 10 player in the league. He’s been on the team before, but was disqualified last year due to too much scoring. Welcome back Dray! Day-Day doesn’t give care what you think about him, which is a necessary attitude to be a trashman. On the court, he’ll give us everything that a trashman does (rebounding, defense, dirty work), plus a healthy dose of shooting, playmaking. Notice that he led all qualified players in assists and steals per 100 possessions. It’s a rare combination of selfishness and generosity rarely seen in trashmen. Put it all together, and he’s this year’s captain and MVP.

Iguodala is also a longtime trashman–in fact, he was the 2013-14 MVP. been He stands out from the crop nearly as much as Draymond, displaying the rare combination of typical trashman duties and offensive proficiency. It doesn’t hurt that he and Draymond already have fabulous on-court chemistry on the Warriors. Given his relationship with Frank and the rest of the coaches, it’s only natural he finds himself on the squad.

Ariza has always had a nose for the ball, but has scored the ball too much to ever qualify for the squad. Perhaps Beverley got in his ear and told him about this prestigious opportunity that would come along with scoring under 17 points per 100 possessions. He didn’t have his best season, but his high steal and low turnover numbers show that he valued the basketball like any classic trashman would. Beverley, an longtime contributor of the squad, once again demonstrated his grittiness with impressive rebounding numbers. His playmaking and shooting will be an asset on a team who generally lacks both skills.

The final roster spot was difficult, from a statistical standpoint, but otherwise very easy pick due to his unkempt hair. Trashmen do not have time to look pretty for the fans or Tinder bitties–they are dedicated to the trash trade. Bebe didn’t get many minutes with the Raptors–especially after the signing of Serge Ibaka–but his per-possession production is difficult to ignore. His BPM tied Draymond’s and his WS/48 actually exceed it. Bebe was the premier shot-blocker of the group and was proficient enough otherwise to make the squad.

Head Coach: Frank Reynolds aka The Trashman
Big man coaches: Dennis Rodman, Ben Wallace
Swingman coach: Bruce Bowen, Shane Battier
Point guard coach: Mark Jackson, Jason Kidd

Scattered notes:

  • This year’s crop had very few point guards. They are scoring more and more, which is great for them, but bad for us.
  • As always, good teams tend to have the best trashmen. Some exceptions to that, this year, include Gorgui Dieng, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Larry Nance Jr. Special shoutout to those guys, who grind away despite playing for mediocre teams.
  • Strange, special emotions run through me as I look at the list of players. It’s a combination of nostalgia and respect for guys like Amir Johnson, Tyson Chandler, Andre Roberson, Thabo Sefolosha, Jared Dudley, and Patrick Patterson. These guys have been on the squad for years, and seeing them sign up for another tour with Frank and crew fills me with joy comparable stumbling across free food in the psych department.

Who do you think is the best trashmen in the NBA? Who would make Frank Reynolds proud? Comment on the article or e-mail us at AGRbasketball (at) gmail (dot) com. Don’t forget to follow @AGRbasketball on Twitter and like us on Facebook.

 

 

 

 

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